This is a statement we hear from many people; usually when something less than happy is occurring. Someone loses a job and their friend tries to make them feel better by saying
“Everything happens for a reason, you’ll see.”
Even when the worst, such as the death of a loved one happens, someone will undoubtedly utter those words; “Everything happens for a reason.”
I, for one, don’t believe this. I don’t believe that towns get decimated by a tornado, for a reason. I don’t believe that those we love die, for a reason. I don’t believe that a person who loses a job, loses it for a reason; at least not a reason that is meant to benefit him or her.
Now, if believing this is comforting to some, then who am I to tell them not to believe?
However, I see one downfall to this belief. I’ve seen people wait for the “reason” to be revealed to them. In the meantime, they are unhappy and depressed by their current situation. I also simply can’t believe that some awful things could possibly happen for a reason. For example; could a parent who loses a child to a drunk driver lose that child for a reason, even if the outcome that they can go on to become an advocate against drunk driving? That would just be too incredibly cruel.
There is another way to think about it. From my point of thinking, I am the Boss of ME!
This means that how I respond to both the good and not so good in my life is by my own choice – not some undefined fateful reason.
I believe it is our own determination, actions and motivations that can create a purpose out of the difficult situations in our life.
One can choose to look for the reason or wait for it to be revealed. Or, one can choose to find a purpose – to create a purpose.
From my point of view, the parent who loses a child to a drunk driver chooses to create a purpose but I can’t, just can’t believe that was the reason. The person, who loses a job and decides to create their own business, goes on to be successful did not lose their job for a reason. Rather they made choices that lead them to a better place.
To me, this is more about personal leadership and life choices. I think my outlook is more empowering and life affirming. It takes the thinking as a victim to one who chooses to be a victor over circumstances. It takes us from depending on fate to creating our own future.